Your military is EVERYTHING. Truly successful players know it and if you don't realize it for yourself, you will never be among them. There is a cycle of growth in this game that starts with your armies and ends with killing the armies belonging to everyone else, but there's many steps in between.
First you need armies that can die for you. Concentrate on anything that speeds that up recruiting, like your mayor perks, stable, and forge. Once you have the armies, give them to heroes and level them up. As those heroes improve, continuously refill them to their larger capacities and repeat.
As heroes grow and begin to carry more troops, this increases the amount of resources that they can farm. At that point, you are able to build more buildings, larger armies, and then repeat the cycle and continuously improve. Gradually, this allows you to fight and defeat your enemies, ensuring that your cycle is not broken.
If you're merely relying on your city to provide you with what you need, you will fail. That is why your mayor needs high STR and DEF. That is why your political skills should be concentrated on military. That is why you fight and level up your heroes. Over time, if you follow these steps and use your time here wisely, you will be a success and perhaps one day one of the strongest players in our server.